She’s Pregnant - Now What?

Last Updated on May 2025.

Alright, mate. Deep breath.

You just heard the words: “I’m pregnant.” Maybe it came with a look of panic, a positive pee stick, or a casual text that rocked your world. However it landed - welcome to the moment.

If you're here after Googling “My girlfriend is pregnant - what do I do?”, you're not alone. This post is your lifeline. Whether you’re excited, terrified, or somewhere in between, this is your guide to navigating those first whirlwind days.

And no - we’re not here to throw blame. This isn’t “you got her pregnant, now fix it.” This is: You’re here now. Let’s focus on what’s next.

The First 72 Hours: Panic, Google, Avoid, Repeat

Let’s call it what it is: chaos. Those first few days post-pregnancy revelation feel like a bad dream mixed with adrenaline and confusion.

You might experience:

• Denial - “Nah, this isn’t real.”

• Panic - “What the hell do I do now?”

• Google Overload - “Can a pregnancy test be wrong? How long is a trimester? What even is a trimester?”

• Avoidance - Diving into work, TikTok, gym sessions, or anything but the situation.

That’s normal. You're not broken. You’re in a bit of shock and these actions in the early stages are often a way to process the news. 

But here’s the truth bomb: You can’t live in limbo forever. It’s time to start acting like a dad - even if you don’t feel like one yet.

Step 1: Confirm the Pregnancy and Be There

Pregnancy tests are usually spot on (many manufacturers claiming an accuracy of 99% when used correctly) - but it’s worth confirming things with a doctor or midwife. Offer to go with her. Yes, even if it’s awkward.

Here’s how to show up early on:

• Be present. You don’t need a speech. Just be there.

• Ask how she feels. And actually listen. This isn’t just about the baby - this is big for her too.

• Don’t jump into decision mode. Give each other space to feel and process.

• Stay grounded. If you’re in a complicated relationship, this news might make things messier. Tread gently. Talk openly.

Real talk: This is her body, her experience - but your presence can make a huge difference. You don’t need to lead, just support, and be pro-active where you can. 

Step 2: Make a Game Plan (Even If It’s Half-Baked)

Nobody expects you to suddenly become a parenting guru with a detailed roadmap. But having some kind of plan helps anchor your chaos.

Your Dad-to-Be Starter List:

• 💸 Money Talk – Yep, it’s uncomfortable. But pregnancy, leave from work and baby stuff ain’t cheap. Time to look at your finances.

• 🏡 Where You’ll Live - Still in that bachelor pad with a beanbag and the tv on beer crates? May need a rethink.

• 👔 Job Flexibility - Can you be available for appointments or emotional support without screwing your career?

• 🩺 Book Your Own GP Visit - Check your mental and physical health. You matter too, mate. GP's can help guide you to the right support services, so its worth having a chat. 

• 🖼 First Scan - Go if you can (usually around week 12). That grainy blob on the screen? It’s going to change your whole perspective.

You don’t need to fix everything this week. But taking action - even clumsy action, shows her (and yourself) that you’re in.

Pro Dad Tip: Don’t Say “We’re Pregnant” Unless She Wants You To.

It sounds sweet, but it would pay to have a conversaion about it, and see how she feels about you using that phrase. 

She’s the one with morning sickness, wild hormones, and a human growing inside her ribcage. You’re part of this journey, but not carrying it (literally).

Try saying:

• “We’re expecting.”

• “She’s pregnant—I’m getting ready to be a dad.”

• “I’m here to support her through this.”

Support ≠ centre stage. Let her lead the narrative.  On the flip side...she might not give a shit.  And you can even let the cashier know at startbucks "we're pregnant" as you order your single shot flat whites. 

Real Talk: The Mental Load Is Real

Let’s not sugar-coat it - those first few weeks after finding out you’re going to be a dad can feel like your brain’s been thrown in a blender. There’s excitement, sure. But also panic, pressure, and about 47 versions of “WTF now?”

Common Thoughts Dads Have Early On:

• “Am I even ready for this?”

• “What happens to my freedom?”

• “What if I mess this up?”

• “What if she doesn’t want me involved?”

• “What if I do want to be involved, but I’m terrified?”

Sound familiar? Yeah, you’re not broken - you’re just joining the club. These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs that you give a damn.

The Invisible Backpack You Didn’t Know You Were Wearing

This is what people call the mental load, and while it often gets discussed in the context of mums, dads carry their own version too.

It’s the weight of:

• Wanting to be supportive but not knowing how.

• Feeling pressure to "step up" while still trying to process what stepping up even means.

• Juggling work, money, moods, and the massive shift in your identity.

Here’s the Truth:

• You don’t need to have it all figured out on Day 1. No-one expects you to.

• Fear and responsibility can exist at the same time. You can be scared and still show up.

• Being involved isn’t about perfection - it’s about presence. That’s what matters most.

How to Ease the Mental Load (Without Losing Your Mind)

You don’t have to carry all the pressure in silence. Here’s how to make things feel a little lighter, one step at a time:

Talk It Out - Even If It’s Awkward

• Tell your partner how you’re feeling. Not sure what to say? Try: “I want to be here for you, but I’m figuring this out too.”

• Find a trusted mate, brother, or dad who’s been through it. Even a 15-minute vent can help.

• Consider talking to a therapist or coach. You’re not broken, you’re just building new mental muscles.

Write the Worry Down

• Grab your phone or a notebook and brain-dump every fear or “what if” on your mind.

• Then go through it and cross out the stuff you can’t control. Focus only on what you can.

Pick One Thing to Own

• Feeling overwhelmed often comes from trying to do everything at once.

• Choose one thing you can own in this early phase, maybe it’s managing the calendar, sorting the hospital bag, or learning how to make her favourite snack without setting off the fire alarm.

Don’t Ditch Your Own Needs

• Look, you’re no use to anyone if you’re running on fumes.

• Keep up your workouts, call your mates, or squeeze in 20 minutes for your own sanity - guilt-free.

Learn to Say: “I Don’t Know Yet”

• You’re not expected to have instant answers to big, life-changing stuff.

• “I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out” is a power move, not a cop-out.

Pro Dad Reminder:

If you ever feel like you're failing - remember you’re just adapting. Feeling the weight doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re engaged. Every step you take in the right direction helps ease the load for your partner.  As David Goggins say's "who's gonna carry the boats?" in this instance...thats you! And that’s what makes you a great dad already.

Relationship Reality Check

Pregnancy changes everything - including your relationship.

• Mood Swings & Hormones: She might cry during a dog food commercial. Just ride the wave and always have tissues on hand and snacks...always have snacks. 

• Sex Might Shift:  And not just physically. Talk about it, don’t assume. That way you both know where each others expectations are and how each other is feeling. OR/ just poke her with it and hope for the best.

• Communication Gets Weird:  She’s processing a whole new identity. You might be too. Be kind to her and yourself. 

Quick tip? Listen more than you talk. Silence can feel like support when used right.

The “New Dad Survival” Basics: What You Should Know

Let’s keep it practical:

• Vitamins & Appointments – Know what she needs and when.

• Baby Milestones – Learn the basics: trimesters, scans, heartbeat checks.

• Start Saving – Think beyond nappies: cot, car seat, pram, maternity clothes, coffee… so much coffee.

Stuff You Can Actually Do This Week

Feeling stuck? Start here 

Download our Free Dad-to-Be Checklist - It’s a no-BS guide to help you on your pathway to fatherhood. Practical steps. No fluff. Just clarity and calm in the chaos.

Download it here

Don’t Be a Hero. Be a Teammate.

Look, you don’t need to solve it all or turn into some Pinterest-level Superdad overnight.

What your partner really needs is a teammate.

That means:

• Holding space for her emotions without centering your own. But equally conveying yours when the time is right. 

• Managing your reactions. It’s okay to feel - just don’t lash out or judge. That's the fastest way to getting a pair of Crocs to the face. 

• Asking how you can help, not assuming. That way you get it right...and avoid any possible shit fights. 

Showing up isn’t a grand gesture - it’s a daily habit.

Freaked Out Is Fine. Just Don’t Disappear.

You’re not alone in feeling like you just got side-swiped by life. But fatherhood doesn’t start at the birth - it starts now.

Quick-Fire List: 

• Confirm the pregnancy with a professional.

• Be there emotionally and physically.

• Make a plan, even if it’s loose.

• Don’t say “we’re pregnant” unless she’s cool with it.

• Support, don’t smother.

• Start small, stay consistent.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.

FAQs for First-Time Dads

Q: Should I go to the first pregnancy appointment?
A: Yes. Even if you're unsure where things stand with your partner, showing up matters.

Q: What should I do if my partner doesn’t want me involved?
A: Respect her space, but let her know you're willing to step up and support however you can. Situations can be tricky but with good open comunications things can often work out. 

Q: What if I’m just not ready to be a dad?
A: Almost no one feels 100% ready. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grow into it, knowing you dont need to know all the answers...but you are willing to learn along the way. And always get support if you need it.

Want More No-BS Dad Survival Tips?

Explore the full guide at  www.pregnantmenguide.com
Follow us on Instagram for daily support, real-talk advice, and the occasional dad joke you can steal.